


Circle's End

by acedott



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/F, Good Morgana (Merlin), M/M, Mutual Pining, Past Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Pining, Post-Canon Fix-It, Regaining Memories, Retcon, Slow Burn, everyone is queer bc i said so, frequent use of the word queer, my canon now, some modernized names, very mild biphobia, very mild homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:42:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24714775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acedott/pseuds/acedott
Summary: When Arthur returns in the small village of Albion, everyone confronts the idea that their destinies may not be what they were led to believe.
Relationships: Gwen/Morgana (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 65





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm American, so any details about how the government works may be wrong. Google can only tell you so much.

_ A lake, still and serene, reflecting the colors of the sunset. Quiet except for a few grasshoppers’ warming up to sing their song. Then -  _

_ A man emerges from the water, gasping and breathing heavily. He clumsily makes his way to the shore, and is met halfway by another man and helped the rest of the way. They collapse on the beach. The second man turns to him - _

A few miles away, Morgana Pendragon shot awake, eyes flashing gold.

~

Merlin had a feeling today was going to be an important day. He tried to quash the hope that today was finally The Day, as he had for centuries whenever he had this feeling. He turned his mind instead to his friends’ activities, thinking something significant may be brewing for them. In this lifetime, Gwen ran a small used bookstore, out of which she hosted a weekly LGB Tea book club that Merlin attended. 

Morgana, known in this iteration as Morgan Lafayette, was the assistant to the mayor in the village of Albion. Unfortunately for her (and all the other residents), that mayor was Uther Pendragon. He was known for being a conservative hardass, and Morgan was known for being the only person who could stand up to him and emerge relatively unscathed.

Reminiscing on the two women made Merlin decide to go to Gwen’s shop early. Perhaps today’s significance would reveal itself there. He slowly got dressed, mindful of his joints. He’d discovered recently, maybe in the 1820s, that magic was getting more and more difficult for him to use as it faded from the world. Something as simple as easing his joint pain would have him needing to rest for a week, by which point the effects had faded and his joints hurt again anyway. He relied on Gaius’s training in medicine to attend to his illnesses and pains instead. He was in awe of how far medicine had come, but it was a bit difficult to get regular checkups when one of the questions was, “How old are you?”

Truthfully, he’d lost count long ago. The centuries all blended together after a while. He estimated he was roughly 1,000 years old, but aged physically much slower than other humans, meaning he had to move every few decades to avoid raising suspicion. Guinevere had died of old age in Camelot while he still looked like a young man in his thirties.

Lost in his memories, Merlin’s feet automatically took him to Gwen’s shop. The cheerful ring of the bell above the door brought him back to the present.

“Morning, Mr. Emrys! You’re here early today,” Gwen said from behind the counter.

“Good morning, Gwen. I felt a shift in the air today, and something told me to come check on you.”

“How thoughtful! But as far as I know, the only big news is that Elliott will be back today.”

“How is your brother?”

“He’s good. Doctors Without Borders keeps him busy, but he always comes back with the most wonderful stories.” She smiled a bit wistfully. “I wish he was home more, but he’s never been one to stay put for long. Ever since we were little, he’s always looked for the next adventure, the next person to help.”

“And you?”

“There are always people here at home who need help just as much. I like a vacation or trip as much as the next person, but they only make me appreciate my home even more. They remind me how grateful I am to be queen of my own little castle.”

Merlin gestured around the shop fondly. “You do have a fantastic castle here, milady.”

She grinned and mock-curtseyed. “Why thank you, milord.”

The bell above the door rang out again, and Morgan walked in. She stopped in her tracks when she saw Merlin.

“Good morning, Morgan!” Gwen stepped out from the counter and hugged her with a sunny smile. “Mr. Emrys, do you know Morgan Lafayette?”

“Of course, the mayor’s assistant. Probably the only reason he hasn’t turned our village into his own personal serfdom.”

“You give me too much credit. I simply do what I can.”

“And what you can do, you do well,” Gwen said earnestly.

“Please, I only wish I could do more.”

“You do so much already. To work as closely with that hateful man as you do, and to still remain kind to those he hates most…”

“Secretly being one of ‘those people’ does provide some motivation.” Morgan’s eyes widened and her hand flew to her mouth. “I didn’t - I’m - That was not how I planned to come out. I only just realized that I’m - That I’m bi -”

Gwen cut her off by wrapping her in a warm hug. “I’m honored that you told me, even if it was an accident. I won’t tell anyone without your permission, of course, but know that you will always have a home here.”

Merlin placed a hand on Morgan’s shoulders. “I remember how scared I was when I first realized I was bisexual. You are not alone, Morgan Lafayette. We’re both here for you.”

Tears silently streamed down Morgan’s face as she allowed herself to be accepted. She hugged Gwen back and looked Merlin in the eye. Gratitude and a centuries-old apology shone on her face, and he knew Morgana had awoken. Unable to find the right words to say, he used his magic to wipe her tears, allowing her to see his eyes flash gold, and a matching apology of his own. In that moment, nothing more needed to be said.

Morgana slowly pulled back, taking care to act as though she were wiping away tears to avoid Gwen’s suspicion. Judging by the other woman’s teary brown eyes, it’s doubtful she would’ve noticed anyway, but one can never be too careful.

“Thank you both. Gwen, I did actually have a reason for coming in here today. There are some policies our esteemed mayor is proposing that I thought you might want to be aware of. He’s holding a town hall meeting tonight if you want to help me stop him.”

Gwen sighed. “Let me put a kettle on, then we’ll talk. Mr. Emrys, we’re going to have to push the meeting to tomorrow.”

“That’s quite alright.” His feeling of something brewing had only gotten stronger. The weakness he had come to feel every time he practiced magic hadn’t come after wiping away Morgana’s tears like he was expecting. He knew he was setting himself up for disappointment, but he  _ had  _ to go to the Lake of Avalon and see for himself.

The sun was beginning to set by the time Merlin finally made it to the lake. Everyone seemed to want to stop him to chat, which normally would have warmed his heart, but today just made him impatient. When he finally arrived, his heart sank to find the lake deserted - the same way it was every time he visited.

“Why did I think this was it?” he muttered despondently, sinking down to the ground. Dimly he realized his joints felt no pain at the movement. “It’s been like this for centuries, why do I still get my hopes up?” He picked up a pebble, turning it over in his hands. “Kilgharrah probably lied about Arthur rising again. Maybe the price of my magic is that I have to live forever while my friends get reincarnated over and over.” He tossed the stone into the lake in frustration. 

When nothing happened, not even his arthritis, he leaned back against a tree and just took in the view. It really was peaceful here. The lake, still and serene. Quiet except for a few grasshoppers.

A sudden ripple emanating from the middle of the lake caught Merlin’s eye. As he watched, ripples came more rapidly until a hand emerged from the water followed by a head. And a face Merlin saw in his dreams almost every night.

Gasping and breathing heavily, Arthur made his way clumsily to the shore. Merlin shot up and met him halfway, helping him the rest of the way to the shore, feeling the burden of centuries leave him.

They collapsed on the shore, Arthur still coughing up water. Merlin pounded him on the back until he stopped.

Arthur turned to Merlin, whose heart skipped a beat. Had his eyes always been so blue? So deep and piercing?

He pulled Arthur into a hug. “It’s good to see you, sire.”

“You as well.” After a moment, Arthur pulled back in confusion. “Merlin...What the  _ hell  _ are you wearing?”


	2. Chapter 2

After a condensed explanation of events, Merlin led Arthur back to his home to regroup. He had been uncharacteristically silent the whole time, taking in the information as well as the foreign sights like telephone wires and cars. Now he was wonderingly turning the lights off and on in the guest room Merlin was making up for him.

“Can you stop that, please?” Merlin asked, trying to be patient. “It’s very hard to see when you do that. I know for a fact that you’ve never changed a bedsheet in your life, so unless you want to start now…”

Arthur flicked the light back on and stepped away from the switch. “Sorry.” He hesitated, then spoke again. “Are you the only one left? From Camelot.”

Finished with the sheets, Merlin sat down on the bed and sighed. “Yes and no. I’m the only one still alive, but many of the others have reincarnated over the years. As far as I can tell though, only myself and Morgana remember Camelot.”

Arthur stiffened. “Morgana is here? Has she hurt you?”

“No, not at all. She is as she was before...everything. She does work for Uther, but really she is the only thing keeping him in check.”

“My father is here as well?”

“In a sense,” Merlin responded carefully. “His personality is the same and he is in charge, but he is...colder than he was in Camelot. But rather than magic, he has turned his hatred towards queer people.”

“Queer? In what way?”

“Oh. Er, well, men who like men, or people who like multiple genders, or people whose true gender doesn’t match what the doctor decided-”

“You mean people like us?”

Merlin choked. “What?”

Arthur sat on the bed next to him. “Please, don’t act coy. I saw how you looked at Gwaine and Lancelot. It was the same way I looked at them before they became knights.” He clapped him on the shoulder.

“So, you knew?”

He chuckled. “You weren’t very subtle, Merlin.” His smile faded. “At least, not about that.”

“According to Gaius, I wasn’t subtle with the other secret either.”

“Is he still here then? Or, here again? However this reincarnation works.”

Merlin shook his head sadly. “No, and he hasn’t been. As far as I’ve been able to tell, people reincarnate when their destiny is unfulfilled. His must have been to mentor me.”

Arthur placed a hand sympathetically over his. Merlin swallowed nervously and stared at their hands. Why should such a small touch make him hot and cold at the same time?...It must be the day’s events catching up with him, that’s all.

When Arthur pulled his hand back, Merlin stood up. “You should get some rest. This is a lot to adjust to, I’m sure.”

He looked disappointed in a way Merlin couldn’t - _wouldn’t_ - decipher. “Of course. I’ll see you in the morning, then.”

Merlin smiled softly. “In the morning.”


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, Merlin awoke to the sounds of clanging and cursing from the kitchen.

“What in the world are you doing?” Merlin asked blearily, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

“I was trying to make you -  _ us  _ some breakfast, but I don’t actually know how to cook anything. And I don’t know how any of these infernal devices work.”

Merlin shook his head fondly. “Here, let me show you something simple.” He unwrapped a loaf of bread and put two slices in the toaster. “This is a toaster. It warms up the bread to make toast.” He opened the fridge to pull out butter, jam, and marmalade. “This is a refrigerator. It keeps food cold to preserve it.”

The toast popped up and Arthur startled. He hesitantly took one of the pieces of toast, turning it over in his hand. “This is extraordinary. How did you create this?” He looked at Merlin with awe.

Merlin flushed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Oh, I didn’t. Someone else did a while ago. I just bought one.”

Arthur was still giving him that strange look that made his stomach and heart flip in a way he didn’t want to think about. “Extraordinary.”

He turned even redder, knees a bit weak. “Here, you can have these. I’ll make myself some more.” He turned back to the toaster. “Arthur?”

“Mm?” Arthur replied around a mouthful of toast.

“Last night, you said that you...that we had looked at Lancelot and Gwaine the same way.”

“Mmhmm?”

“And you also loved Guinevere?”

A pause. “Yes.”

“I suppose I’m just asking if...if Gwaine and Lancelot were the only men you’d ever...had feelings for.” Merlin wouldn’t let himself wonder why he was asking Arthur this. He wasn’t sure his blush would ever fade at this point. The toast had already popped up, but he was methodically applying butter and jam to avoid turning around to look at Arthur.

“No. No, they weren’t. But as heir to the throne, I was expected to marry and produce an heir of my own, so I wasn’t free to act on those feelings the way others were.”

“I’m sorry. That must have been lonely.” Merlin finally turned around and sat at the table, still avoiding Arthur’s eyes.

“It was part of the cost of being prince. My father never took issue with it then, which makes it surprising that he objects now.”

“After his wife Ingrid left him for another woman, he blamed people like us for corrupting her.” Merlin laughed bitterly. “I suppose with magic all but gone, he needed some other group of people to find unnatural.”

He could feel Arthur looking at him. Not staring, but still intent. “I know this doesn’t fix anything, Merlin, but I am truly sorry for all the suffering my father has caused. Particularly to you.” Merlin looked up at that, surprised. 

Arthur’s eyes again, almost too blue. He couldn’t bear to keep eye contact, not when there was such sincerity there, but he couldn’t bring himself to look away either. “That - Thank you, Arthur. That means a lot.”

Arthur gave a half smile and finally looked away. Merlin was equal parts relieved and disappointed.

“If you’d like, I can bring you around town later today.”

“Is anyone else here from Camelot? You mentioned Morgana and my father.”

Merlin nodded. “Percival and Gwaine are here, though Gwaine is called Gavin now. They’re in a relationship, actually.”

“At least something is the same, then.”

“Leon is here as well. So is Elyan, though his name is Elliott. Gwen is here as well, and both their parents.”

“Gwen is here?” Arthur was suddenly very still.

Merlin nodded somewhat reluctantly. “She is. She owns a secondhand bookstore and hosts community events there.”

“Is she... _ Was  _ she a good queen?” Arthur asked hesitantly.

“The best Camelot ever saw. She was wise and just in everything she did. They called her the People’s Queen because of how tirelessly she fought for her people.”

Arthur smiled at that, the first genuine one since his resurrection. “That sounds exactly like her.”

“I guess you’ll want to see her first?”

His smile faded a bit. “She isn’t exactly the same, though, is she? Even if she does remember Camelot someday, she’s gone through completely different experiences. She’s not my Gwen anymore.”

“True, but everyone has changed. Just look at me, I’ve gone through centuries of changes.”

“That’s different,” Arthur said immediately. “You’re... _ you _ .”

Ducking his head to hide his smile, Merlin changed the subject. “I just can’t figure out what her destiny is. She was the greatest ruler Camelot ever saw - no offense,”

“A lot taken, actually.”

“Second place is nothing to be ashamed of, Arthur. But her reign brought peace and prosperity, the people flourished, she legalized magic again and tensions between sorcerers and non-magic people faded, and she’s been happy in every single incarnation I’ve met. I just don’t get it.” He started to clear the dishes, but Arthur stopped him. 

“I can do that.”

Merlin scoffed. “ _ You’re  _ going to wash the dishes?”

“Yes,  _ Mer _ lin, I think I can handle washing dishes.”

“Really? I know you don’t know how to work the dishwasher. Do you know how to use dish soap? Actually, can you even point to the dish soap?”

“I...well…”

Merlin smirked and grabbed the dishes. “That’s what I thought. Honestly, you’re lucky I’m still here.”

“Yes, I am,” Arthur murmured, too soft for him to hear.

“I’ll take you around the village,” Merlin continued. “There’s a weekly meeting at Gwen’s shop that’s happening tonight. Everyone from Camelot who’s still here, minus Uther obviously, comes to them. It’ll be something familiar, ease you into the modern era.”

“Alright, Merlin, I trust you,” Arthur said easily. “What shall we do until then?”

Merlin pushed away a confusing thought about how they could spend a few hours. “We’re getting new clothes. You look like you just walked off _Game of Thrones_ , and I haven’t dressed like a young man in centuries.”

“What’s  _ Game of Thrones _ ?”

Merlin clapped Arthur on the shoulder and steered him out the door. “You should let me do all the talking.”


	4. Chapter 4

After a surprisingly long but informative time in the village’s single clothing store, where Merlin understood the appeal of skinny jeans for the first time, they made their way over to Gwen’s shop for the meeting.

“Welcome, everyone! Thank you for your flexibility meeting tonight instead of yesterday, I truly appreciate it. As always, let’s go around with names and pronouns. I’m Gwen and I use she/her pronouns.”

“Leon, they/them.”

“Gavin, he/him.”

“Percival, he/him.”

Arthur turned to Merlin as the next few people went. “What do I say?”

“How do you want people to refer to you? He, she, they, something else?”

“He, I suppose.”

“There you go then. Just in time, too.”

Everyone looked at Arthur expectantly. “I’m Arthur, he/him,” he said slowly.

Now it was Merlin’s turn. He’d forgotten to think of a fake name. “Uh...Merlin, he/him.”

“Loraine, she/her.”

“Ellinore, she/her.”

“Morgan, she/her.”

“Before we get started, I see new faces! Merlin, Arthur, would you like to introduce yourselves?”

Arthur stood up before Merlin had a chance. “My name is Arthur Pendragon, former king of Camelot. Merlin and I are honored to be at this gathering.”

A bewildered silence.

“Ha! He’s, um...an actor,” Merlin interjected. “Yep, he’s...playing King Arthur in...a play. He’s  _ very  _ method.” The group chuckled, accepting his explanation. “Anyway, uh, I’m Merlin. I’m...Emrys’s nephew. Yeah, he had to leave to...sort out family affairs. So I’m here housesitting.”

“Really? He never mentioned any family,” Gwen replied. “I hope everything’s alright.”

“Me too.” He sat down before anyone could point out any more inconsistencies.

“Flawless cover as always, Merlin,” Arthur murmured sarcastically in his ear, patting his thigh condescendingly. He moved his head away from Merlin’s ear, but his hand remained.

Merlin’s thigh felt electric where Arthur’s hand rested. The sound of the group faded away as a single realization echoed in his mind.  _ I’m in love with Arthur _ .

He jerked back to attention when Arthur removed his hand to start clapping. Merlin followed, leaning over to whisper, “Why are we clapping?”

“Gwaine, no,  _ Gavin _ just got his name changed.”

Merlin began clapping genuinely. “Oh, good for him!”

The clapping died down. “You picked the name because of that kid from Vine, didn’t you?” Elliott accused lightly.

Gavin’s face was the picture of innocence. “Me? Make a lifelong decision because of something funny on the Internet? I would never.”

Gwen stood up. “Alright everyone, that’s it for today.” The meeting was already over? Merlin wondered how long he had zoned out because of Arthur’s hand. God, he was so far gone. “Next week’s book is a collection of Arthurian legends. They’re all on the back with the extra biscuits, feel free to grab some on the way out.”

Merlin and Arthur made to grab some with the rest of the group when Gwen stopped them. “Actually, Merlin, a moment?”

She ducked behind the counter and returned with another, much older, book. “This is a book of 5th century prophecies, mostly about Camelot. I thought your  _ uncle  _ might want to add it to his collection.” She smiled at him knowingly.

“Oh, yes!” Merlin stroked the cover. “This must have cost a fortune!”

“I wouldn’t know. I found it in the back when I was doing some cleaning. It looked like it had been there for a while.” She handed it over. “I think it was destined for Emrys.”

“What? What are you talking about?”   


Gwen rolled her eyes fondly. “Honestly, Merlin. You look the exact same as you did in Camelot and you expect me not to recognize you?”

His eyes widened. “You knew all this time?”

“I couldn’t be sure, since I’d never actually seen you look old before. But I suspected.”

“Why didn’t you say anything? And why did you question me about my ‘uncle’ just there?”

“You’re still not a very good liar, I couldn’t help having just a bit of fun.” She laughed softly at his indignant expression. “I’m sorry, Merlin. I never meant to deceive you. It’s just that I created a life here for  _ myself _ . One where I’m not Morgana’s servant, or the blacksmith’s daughter, or even Arthur’s wife. I have a life here based on myself alone, not defined by others. I didn’t want that to change. But now,” she glanced over at Arthur. “Now, I have a feeling you could use this.”

Merlin took it, glancing between her and Arthur. “Thank you, Guinevere. I’ll leave you two to talk.” He moved to where Morgana still sat at the table.

“So, the gang’s all back together,” he said awkwardly, taking a seat next to her.

“Just like before,” she agreed mournfully, watching Gwen and Arthur.

Merlin followed her gaze. “They have a lot to talk about.”

“I’d imagine,” she muttered, sipping from her tea.

“But so do we.” He scooted closer. “I owe you an apology,  _ several _ apologies, for how everything happened in Camelot.”

She shook her head. “Merlin, you don’t need to-”

“No, I do,” he interrupted. “If I had just told you about my magic when I learned of yours, maybe I could’ve prevented all of this.”

“Merlin-”

“But I bought into everything the dragon said about my destiny and Arthur’s destiny without thinking of what you were going through, not enough to do something.”

Morgana looked puzzled. “What dragon?”

“Kilgharrah, the Great Dragon. Uther had him chained under the castle until I set him free.”

Morgana paled. “He was real?”

It was Merlin’s turn to be puzzled. “What do you mean?”

“He was in my dreams. Ever since I arrived to live in the palace, he was in my dreams. Sometimes just calling out to me, but other times…” She shuddered. “After you came, he left my dreams, but then the dreams of the future started.”

“He called out to me while I slept when I first arrived in Camelot. When you never came to see him, he must’ve written you off. No wonder he never encouraged me to help you,” he reasoned.

“Do you think he could’ve helped me?”

“Doubtful. He only ever wanted to be free and get revenge on Uther. He knew some things about the future, like Mordred killing Arthur and Arthur’s resurrection, but not enough to know that you can’t fight prophecy. The more you try, the more you ensure it will happen. He never helped me hone my magic; I doubt he would’ve helped you either.”

“I meant, could he have freed me from Morgause’s influence after she brought me to the Dark Tower?”

Merlin’s jaw dropped. “She brought you to the Dark Tower? Was that the year you were missing?”

“You didn’t know,” she said softly. “Yes, she did. I was under her influence completely when I returned. I spent an entire year in that tower. Anything you told me, she would’ve made me use against you, so overall it’s for the best that you never told me.” She paused. “Although poisoning me  _ was  _ a bit of a dick move.”

“Right. I am sorry for that as well.”

She waved him off. “Water under the bridge. It’s just good to be myself again.”

He placed a hand over hers and smiled. “It’s good to have you back.”

Morgana smiled back at him.

Gwen laughed from the other side of the shop, making them look over. Seeing that Arthur had made her laugh, they sighed in unison.

Merlin and Morgana looked at each other. Realization dawned at the same time. “You have feelings for Gwen?”

“Yes. You for Arthur?”

“Yep.” Merlin let his head fall onto his arms on the table. “You know I only realized this today?”

“It’s been centuries! Even you can’t be that dense.”

“He definitely can. What happened this time?” Arthur asked.

Merlin shot up and saw Gwen and Arthur standing behind Morgana. “How long have you two been there?”

“Not long enough to hear whatever this big secret is. So come on, out with it!”

“Arthur, stop teasing him. If it’s any of your business, he’ll tell you eventually,” Gwen said loyally.

“You two had a nice talk then?” Morgana asked, deceptively casual.

“We did. I brought him up to speed on what happened in Camelot during my reign and told him about everyone in this lifetime. Oh, and we decided not to get back together.”

“You did?” Merlin and Morgana asked at the same time.   


“Yes. Like I said this morning,” Morgana gave Merlin a significant look. He kicked her under the table. “She’s a different person now than she was back then. We’re more compatible as friends.”

“Also, I’m a lesbian, so this wouldn’t have worked anyway,” Gwen added.

Arthur nodded. “That is a key difference.”

It was Merlin’s turn to give Morgana a significant look. She scowled at him in return.

“As glad as I am to be reunited with you all, and I truly am, I do have to ask you to leave so I can close up.” Gwen looked at the clock pointedly. None of them had noticed the sun go down, but it was now fully dark outside.

“Right, of course. We’ll get out of your hair.” They made to leave, but Merlin turned back. “Actually, Gwen, Morgana, both of you should come over for lunch tomorrow. We still have a lot to catch up on. And reading the book will be much more fun as a group since we know what really happened.”

Gwen thought a moment. “Sundays are usually slow anyway, I can close at noon and come over.”

“I can meet you here and walk over with you, if you’d like?” Morgana offered.

“I’d like that! I’ll see you all tomorrow.” The three of them took the hint and finally left for the night.

“Merlin, are you  _ sure  _ Morgana has changed?” Arthur asked once they were alone.

“I am. Morgana was…” he grimaced. “That’s not mine to tell. But she  _ has  _ changed. You just have to trust me.”

Arthur stopped and looked Merlin in the eye. “I trust you with my life, Merlin. I always have. No matter what else changes, that will always be true.”

Merlin averted his eyes and led them back to his house. “Even though I lied to you for the entire time we knew each other?”

Arthur shrugged and bumped him companionably. “Looking back, your excuses were very weak. Really, it’s my fault for not seeing through them.”

Merlin laughed. “You always were a bit slow.”

Arthur gasped. “I’ll show you slow!” 

Merlin took off and Arthur chased him the whole way home.


	5. Chapter 5

Despite the warm feelings of reconciliation the day before, the atmosphere was awkward the following day. The tension was broken when Arthur tried to figure out how to eat pizza.

“You’re making this much harder than it has to be, Arthur. Just put the pointy end in your mouth and bite,” Merlin coached.

“No, the crust is too thin for that,” Gwen countered. “Fold it up like this.” She demonstrated.

“There’s nowhere to hold this! Where am I supposed to put my hands?”

“The  _ crust _ !” they all chorused, equal parts frustrated and amused.

“Or just get a fork and knife if you’re going to be so bloody difficult,” Morgana suggested.

Arthur immediately brightened at that idea, but Merlin shot it down. “No, he has to learn. Here, I’ll help you.” He picked up a slice and held it before Arthur’s face. “Open wide! Here comes the airplane!” he teased.

“What on earth is an airplane?” Arthur asked, but opened his mouth obligingly and took a bite.

His eyes widened in surprise. “That’s amazing!”

Merlin guided Arthur’s hands to hold the crust, lingering just a moment too long. His hands were still strong and callused from years spent training with a sword. Their eyes locked and Merlin felt his brain lose focus.

“Erm, we should...get back to the book,” Merlin said, jumping back.

“The book,” Arthur echoed faintly, eyes still trained on Merlin.

“Yes, the book!” Morgana agreed readily. “There were some fascinating tidbits in here. Arthur, was Mordred really your son?”

“What?” His focus finally shifted away from Merlin as he processed what she said. “How would that even be possible? I would’ve had to have had him when I was ten years old!”

She shrugged innocently. “But it’s here in the book! It must be true!”

Arthur tossed a pillow at her. “What about the part where you were in love with Lancelot?”

“I only met him once!”

“He was hot,” Gwen and Merlin offered at the same time, then high-fived.

“You’re one to talk, Merlin!” Arthur shot back. “Apparently  _ you  _ advised me to kill all the newborn babies in the kingdom to avoid the prophecy of Mordred killing me.” 

“Don’t remind me. If he hadn’t already been dead when the book was published, I would’ve killed Malory myself.”

They all looked at Merlin in surprise. “You  _ knew _ Thomas Malory?” Gwen asked.

“I  _ may  _ have been the one who told him stories about Camelot in the first place, he admitted sheepishly.

Arthur gaped at him. “But almost all of it is wrong!”

“In my defense, it had been a couple of centuries! And we were both pretty drunk.”

“Did you pick him up in a tavern?” Arthur scoffed. He sounded... _ jealous _ . But that was impossible, wasn’t it?

“Gwen, I had no idea you were so passionate about medieval literature,” Morgana said, changing the subject.

“I studied it at uni, along with politics. That was how I got my memories of Camelot back, actually. I was working on a project for class about the government’s role in solving wealth inequality, and I was flooded with memories about what I did during my reign.”

Morgana watched her as she spoke, hanging on her every word.

“Then you came into my shop, Morgana, and I could tell you didn’t remember yet. Maybe it was selfish of me not to tell you straight away, but truthfully I was glad of the chance to start over with you.” She took Morgana’s hands and looked at her earnestly. “I saw this as a second chance for both of us.”

Overcome with emotion, Morgana cupped Gwen’s face and kissed her. Surprised only for a moment, Gwen quickly recovered and kissed back eagerly.

This went on for some time until Merlin cleared his throat. “Do you mind not going at it on my sofa?”

They parted, embarrassed. “Right. Sorry, Merlin,” Gwen apologized. “Morgana, we should-” she motioned to the door.

“Yes, absolutely. Bye, boys!” Morgana followed Gwen out the door, practically floating.

Arthur looked at Merlin, bewildered. “What just happened?”

Merlin suppressed a laugh. “Your ex-wife and your sister just made out and left to go make out some more.”

Arthur went beet red. “I gathered as much, thank you, Merlin. It’s just...That’s my  _ sister  _ and my  _ ex-wife _ !”

“Very good! Now do you know who I am?” Merlin teased.

Arthur rolled his eyes. “As if I could ever forget.”

Merlin was embarrassed at the way his heart stuttered. He knew Arthur was making fun of him, but still.

“I’m. Er. I’m going to go read that book Gwen gave me. In my room.”

“Why not read out here?”

“I. Well. It’s prophecies. I need to concentrate. Give it my full attention.”

“So you’re saying I’m distracting?” Arthur preened.

Merlin chuckled nervously. “Ha. You wish.”

He turned and quickly walked to his room, so quickly he missed Arthur staring after him, muttering, “Yes. I do.”

Once he was alone in his room, Merlin despondently fell onto the bed. For just a moment, he let himself indulge in a fantasy that Arthur felt the same as he did. Merlin felt his love for Arthur expanding in his chest every second so strongly he was almost surprised he could still breathe, and let himself pretend that Arthur felt it too.

Then he forced those feelings back down and turned his attention to the book of prophecies.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “The future is as yet unshaped. It is we that shape it.” - Gaius, The Witch’s Quickening (s2e11)
> 
> tw for some slightly more explicit homophobia and transphobia being discussed.

Merlin startled awake to the sound of pounding on his door. The book of prophecies that had fallen on his face sometime overnight fell to the ground in an unceremonious heap.

Arthur barged in with Gwen and Morgana behind him. “Rise and shine! Morgana brought something called ‘donuts.’”

“It was Gwen’s idea, really,” Morgana said, looking at her adoringly.

Gwen took her hand. “I -  _ We  _ felt bad about how we left yesterday. It was quite rude, so we thought we’d make it up to you.” She noticed the book on the floor and Merlin’s rumpled clothes. “Merlin, have you been up with that book all night?”

He picked it up off the floor. “I must’ve fallen asleep at some point. I’m looking for anything that could tell us why  _ this  _ is Albion’s greatest time of need.”

“I might know why,” Morgana muttered darkly. They turned to her. “Uther is running for mayor again, unopposed. If he wins, which he’s sure he will, he’s planning on writing legislation that would recriminalize any act of queerness.”

Gwen gaped at her. “He can’t do that! That would violate so many discrimination laws, not to mention it would face massive opposition.”

“Not if he writes it carefully enough. He wants to make it nearly impossible for trans people to be diagnosed with gender dysphoria, for one thing, so they can’t change their gender on official documents. He also wants to make it harder for religious institutions to opt in to recognizing queer marriages. All this is under the guise of ‘religious freedom’ and ‘accurate mental health care,’ of course.”

“How much would that really affect the country outside of here, though?” Merlin asked.

Gwen thought for a moment. “Potentially not at all. But it  _ could  _ set a precedent for other villages and towns to do the same thing. Besides, the prophecy was about Albion specifically, not necessarily England as a whole.”

“That still doesn’t tell us what role we’re all supposed to play,” Arthur pointed out. “Have you found anything about that?”

“Nothing.” Merlin ran a hand through his hair in frustration, not noticing how Arthur’s eyes tracked the movement. “The only bit that’s even slightly relevant is this: ‘Be ye warned, Humble Reader. Not all that is Forseen shall come to be, but all that is Accepted as Prophecy must come to pass, in one form or another, and cannot be prevented. Yet Destiny is not Prophecy. Events prophesied may be instrumental to one’s Destiny, but Destiny cannot be prophesied.’” 

“That’s clear as mud,” Arthur said around a mouthful of donut. Somehow he’d gotten powdered sugar on his forehead and in his hair. Merlin fell a little more in love.

“Morgana, any chance you’ve had any helpful prophetic dreams?”

She shook her head, then stopped. “Possibly. I dreamed Arthur came back, emerging from a lake.”

“That already happened.”

“Yes, but that dream is what brought my memories back. About a week before that, I dreamed that Gwen was the mayor.”

“Me? Morgana, I don’t think that was prophecy,” Gwen said gently.

Morgana shook her head. “No, I know what a prophetic dream feels like. In it, I could see campaign posters for you  _ and  _ Uther. He unveiled his new campaign posters yesterday and they matched what I saw in my dream. More importantly, Merlin and Arthur were in the crowd in my dream, but I’d never seen them before I got my memories back.”

Merlin nodded thoughtfully. “I know what happens when people don’t listen to your visions, and I won’t make that mistake again. I trust you, Morgana.”

She smiled gratefully. “But I’m not sure what that tells us.”

“Merlin, did you ever actually read or hear the exact prophecy about Arthur rising again?” Gwen asked.

“Not directly, no.”

“Alright, then we’ll help you. We’ll each take one of your books of prophecies and see what we can find.” She walked over to his bookshelves and pulled out three tomes, distributing them. “These should be a good place to start.”

“It’s hot when you take charge,” Morgana said, waggling her eyebrows.

Gwen’s cheeks darkened. “Focus, Morgana. Besides, if your prophecy comes to pass, you’ll see me in charge much more.”

“Ooh, promise?”

Arthur sighed. “Really?”

Morgana had the decency to look embarrassed. “Right. We’re here for prophecies.”

The next few hours passed in relative silence, other than Gwen’s occasional murmurs of “Fascinating!” and constant scribble of her pen as she took notes. Eventually, Arthur shut his book dramatically.

“Has  _ anyone _ made any progress? If I have to keep reading this, I just might die. Again.”

Gwen nodded. “I found a lot. Admittedly, most of what I found is fascinating for my own research. But I did find a small passage here on the nature of destiny.” She cleared her throat and began to read. “‘It goes without saying, of course, that Destiny must not be confused with Prophecy. While Prophecy is the event or events that have been Forseen and shall inevitably occur, Destiny is the Lesson one learns from these events. The two are Intertwined but wholly Separate.’”

The room was silent as they absorbed this. Morgana broke the silence. “I found something too. ‘I have seen it come to pass that the Once and Future Ruler, who shall possess no Blood of Uther Pendragon, shall return when Albion’s need is greatest.’”

Something clicked in Merlin’s head. “Gwen, it’s you!  _ You’re  _ the one in the prophecy!”

“What? Merlin, I can’t be. I’m not a ‘Pendragon heir.’”

“Yes, you are,” Arthur replied. “When I died, you inherited the throne. You’re not an heir in the most common sense, but you are technically an heir nonetheless.”

“That explains why the dragon was so insistent on you not taking the throne, Morgana. He knew you were of Uther’s blood, but also foresaw your role in Arthur’s demise. And Arthur, he must have assumed that because Uther used magic to conceive you-”

“He did  _ what _ ?” Gwen and Morgana exclaimed at the same time.

“That you didn’t count as being of Uther’s blood,” Merlin continued. “But in reality, it was Gwen all along!”

Gwen sank to the chair. “If that’s true, why not just say the Once and Future Queen? And why not just specify the heir is by marriage?”

“The prophecy called you the Once and Future  _ Ruler _ ,” Arthur pointed out. “If this is about you becoming mayor, then technically you wouldn’t be a queen again. Plus, Once Queen and Future Mayor doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue.”

She ignored his joke. “But then, why did you rise from the lake? The rest of us were reincarnated, more than once according to Merlin, but you returned just as you were.”

“Because I accepted it as prophecy,” Morgana said softly. “The eve of our final battle, Arthur, I had the exact same dream of you rising from the Lake of Avalon. Me trying to fight against it only cemented it as prophecy.”

“I also assumed he would rise again from the lake,” Merlin said. “Nobody told me he would, but I just...had a feeling. I never even thought to question it, all these centuries, that that was how Arthur would return.”

“That makes no sense! Why does all of this have to be so bloody  _ convoluted _ and mysterious?” she burst out. “You’re all seeing connections that aren’t there! It can’t be  _ me _ !”

“Why?”

“Because I’m  _ nobody _ ! I’m just-”

“You’re just you,” Merlin interrupted, moving to kneel beside her. “You said as much the other day, that now you  _ finally  _ have a life where you’re your own person. Not the blacksmith’s daughter, not even the People’s Queen. You are defined by your actions and beliefs only. So, what do you believe is the right action?”

“All I’ve ever wanted is for things to be fair. Having been both servant and queen, I’ve seen just how unfair things can be.” She sighed. “And I know I need to do everything I can to make things right. Which apparently means running against Uther.”

Morgana knelt at her other side. “I want life to be better for people like me, and all other vulnerable people. I will do everything I can to help you.”

Gwen looked at her. “You don’t want the power for yourself?”

Morgana scoffed. “Goddess, no! Me ruling was always Morgause’s vision. She twisted my mind in the Dark Tower, made me believe that was what I wanted all along.” Gwen and Arthur both looked shocked at the revelation, but Morgana barrelled past it. “I never sought more power for myself, only to use what leverage I did have to make things fairer. But I’ll happily be your campaign manager. Besides, we’ve already seen that I like it when you’re in charge,” she said with a wink.

“From what Merlin has told me, and from our brief time ruling together, I have no doubt you would be a fine mayor,” Arthur chimed in. “I don’t know what that is, exactly, but Albion is in excellent hands if a mayor is anything like a queen.”

Gwen threw up her hands in surrender. “Alright, I’ll  _ think _ about it! But for now, I really should’ve opened up shop hours ago, so I’ve got to get down there.”

“Morgana, why don’t you go with her?” Arthur suggested.

“We’ve got plans for later tonight. I don’t mind staying with you two,” she brushed him off.

“No,  _ really _ , you should go.” Arthur looked at her significantly, then tilted his head slightly at an oblivious Merlin.

She got the hint. “You know what, I miss her already. Gwen, darling, wait up!” She left with a sly smile.

“Arthur, you didn’t have to send her away,” Merlin rebuked. “I promise you, she can be trusted.”

“You told me Morgause lied about the circumstances of my birth,” Arthur said. “Why?”

Merlin swallowed. “It was true. I don’t know if Uther knew the price or not, but he did use Nimueh’s help to conceive you.”

“You didn’t answer my question.” Arthur sat down beside him, close but not looking at him. “Why did you lie to me?”

“I knew you wouldn't have been able to live with yourself if you killed him,” Merlin answered honestly. “I couldn’t let that happen.”

Arthur turned to face him. “I was going to legalize magic if I had killed him, to set right his wrongs. You saw that I was questioning his hatred of magic. You could have lived as yourself, freely and openly. Yet you gave that up to spare me pain?”

“Okay, I get it! I’m sorry! I won’t lie to you again.”

“No, that’s not...Do you know why I never made you a knight?”

Merlin was feeling whiplash from the abrupt topic change. “Because I’m not a noble?”

“Nope. Lancelot and Elyan were commoners. Guess again.”

“Because you thought I was a coward?”

“I think you’re the bravest man I’ve ever met, and I always have. Try again.”

“I don’t know, you couldn’t be arsed to find another manservant?”

“No. Well, a little. But mostly because a king’s bond with his knights is sacred. It’s a brotherhood. For a king to become involved with his knights is a violation of that bond.”

“So...you don’t see me as a brother?”

“Exactly!”

“After everything I did for you, after I waited over a  _ thousand  _ years for you, after I saved your life time and time again, and you don’t even consider us  _ friends _ ?!” Merlin shouted, tears burning the back of his throat. Not returning his feelings was one thing, he’d resigned himself to that, but to completely reject his friendship hurt beyond words.

“What? Merlin, no, I...Oh, to hell with it!” He grabbed Merlin by the shoulders and kissed him roughly.

It took Merlin’s brain a second to catch up with what was happening. By the time he had, Arthur had pulled back. 

“I was in love with you, you... _ dollophead _ !”

_ Love?...Was?  _ “What about Gwen?”

Arthur sighed and fell back on the bed. “I don’t know. I did love her. But I also had feelings for you. I just didn’t realize until you pulled me out of the lake.”

Hope started to bloom in Merlin’s chest. “You said you  _ were  _ in love with me. Do you still…?”

“I do. I’m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable, I can -  _ mmph! _ ”

Merlin had flung himself enthusiastically at Arthur.

To his credit, Arthur caught on much more quickly than Merlin had. Arthur ran a hand through Merlin’s hair, making him gasp. Merlin traced a thumb gently over Arthur’s jaw, feeling the slight stubble there. He tasted faintly of lakewater and powdered donuts. It should’ve been a revolting combination, but it was intoxicating. 

He pressed kisses to Arthur’s jawline. “I love you too,” he breathed against the skin. Arthur moaned. “ _ God _ , I love you.” He pulled back just enough to look Arthur in the eyes. “Do you really think I’m the bravest man you’ve ever met?”

“I should’ve known that would go to your head.” Arthur tried to pull him down into another kiss, but Merlin leaned back. 

“Nope, not until you answer my question.”   
  
Arthur rolled his eyes and sat up against the pillows. “Fine. Yes, I do. Before I knew about your magic, I believed you were brave because you willingly entered life-or-death situations with only a  _ small  _ bit of bellyaching about it. Then once I learned about your magic, I realized you had been by my side every day for years, putting yourself in danger of discovery to fulfill your destiny and help me fulfill mine. Or our fates, or whatever you want to call it.” In spite of himself, Arthur’s eyes shone with admiration. “You had no reason to want to help me. I was just as prejudiced against magic as my father. Yet you did anyway, and you asked for nothing in return. How could I not fall in love with you?”

Merlin moved back in to kiss him; this time it was Arthur who leaned back.

“No, now it’s my turn,” Arthur said smugly. “Which of my many charms was it that made you fall madly in love with me?”

Merlin quirked an eyebrow. “I never said ‘madly.’”

“You didn’t have to. You ‘waited for me over a  _ thousand  _ years’ after all,” he responded smugly.

Merlin shoved him lightly. “I’ve moved on actually, I’m over you now.”

Arthur held Merlin’s hand where it still rested on his chest. “You’re not,” he said nonchalantly, but his whole body was tense, worried that Merlin meant it. As if that were possible.

“No, I’m not. I could never be. But I’m afraid my confession is much less dramatic than yours.” Arthur didn’t interrupt, so he continued. “You’re a hard worker and you don’t give up. That may not sound like much, but those are admirable qualities when you grow up in a poor farming village. Farming is hard enough in good times, but we all had to sacrifice when the harvest was poor and things went wrong. Time and again, I saw you willing to give up  _ everything  _ for your people. Even when I tried to talk you out of it, I knew deep down that you would never back down. You wouldn’t be you if you did.”

Arthur was silent for a moment. “So you love me because you think I’d be a good farmer?”

Merlin shifted to face away from him. The image of Arthur plowing the fields, covered lightly in dirt and sweat was oddly arousing. Perhaps shirtless...But this was not the time to think about that.

“I...maybe. But you’re in love with me because you think I’d be a good knight!”

If Arthur’s face was anything to go by, he was having a very similar reaction to Merlin. “I never said you would be a  _ good  _ knight! Your swordsmanship is atrocious, your footwork is sloppy, and you’d barely mastered riding a horse when I died,” he sputtered.

“It’s been centuries. Maybe I’ve gotten better since then.”

Arthur made a choked sound. “Have you?”

“You’ll just have to find out.” Merlin leaned in towards Arthur and was met very eagerly.


	7. Epilogue

The day Guinevere Gladstone was sworn in as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom some twenty years later, there was an explosion of magic across the world.

Morgana and Merlin felt its effects most keenly, but certain people who had always had small, strange abilities, like always finding the perfect parking spot or brewing the perfect cup of tea every time, found themselves coming into their full magical abilities. Magical creatures came out of hiding and were seen by the public more and more. After some initial public panic, Gwen and Morgana were able to soothe their fears. Seeing the Prime Minister’s wife demonstrate her magical abilities helped to normalize it in the eyes of the public.

Merlin had begun an herbal medical practice and soon expanded it to include magical remedies, consulting at hospitals on terminal and puzzling cases. He relished being able to freely use all of his gifts to help people. Arthur helped out on occasion, but he was usually in the shop to bicker with his husband or steal kisses in between patients. Merlin couldn’t bring himself to mind the interruptions.

Morgana spent much of her time not spent on public duties running a nonprofit educating the public about magic and training magic users to hone their abilities. Being able to provide the education and support to other magic users that she had desperately needed soothed many of her past wounds, along with consistent therapy. Once magic returned to the land, therapists began branching out into working with patients dealing with issues related to magic, and Morgana began to get much more out of her sessions.

Arthur also sought therapy, after hearing about the good it did Morgana, and also got a lot out of it. His first big breakthrough came in realizing that he didn’t particularly want to rule or have power; those goals had been forced upon him by his upbringing. His fantasy about running away to a farm with Merlin had had more truth in it than he’d realized. So, among other projects, he took up gardening extensively. This development pleased his husband immensely, who took up fencing in return.  Though he was wrong about many,  _ many  _ things, the Great Dragon was right about one very important thing: No one, no matter how great, can know their destiny. They cannot glimpse their part in the great story that is about to unfold. They must live and learn. Even if it takes lifetimes for the lesson to take hold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As with everything I write in this fandom, Gwen's last name comes from notable Afro-Guyanese figures from history to reflect Angel Coulby's heritage. I picked Gladstone for Quamina and Jack Gladstone, who were involved in the Demerera Rebellion of 1823, one of the largest slave uprisings in Guyanese and British history.


End file.
